Doesn't everyone stop and wonder once in a while if they're crazy? I think everyone I've ever known has. Strangely, it seems to reassure us all that we are more sane if we wonder about it. I think it's because the only people who are never worried about their sanity and are never worried about being wrong are the truly crazy people. The rest of us worry about messing things up, from regular things like our household budgets and job prospects to the most important things like our relationships and the lives of our kids. Those things stress us to the point of wondering if we're losing our minds.
One of the best people I know is a born nurturer. I mean, he literally takes care of every person he can because he has a gift for taking care of others. If anyone needs him, he will drop what he's doing and be available. His soul is as absolutely beautiful on the inside as he is on the outside. And, whoa, baby! He is SO beautiful on the outside, if you could only see what I mean, you would understand this comparison. All kidding aside, he is one of the rare and exquisite people who has a heart and soul that lives up to the beauty that you see when you look at him. He's so amazing that he never made me feel guilty when I had to take a break from the outside world for a while (I will dump enough guilt on myself). However, this beautiful man gives and gives, and he gets so little in return. He never complains because he doesn't ask or expect returns on his generosity. Yet, he wears himself out, physically and emotionally. I know the people who are closest to him worry about him because they see it daily, and it finally came to the point where his emotional and physical health hit bottom.
Now, I can see from social media that he has many, many, people who love him and are sending him good vibes and winging prayers for him. I hope he sees that, and I hope it does his heart good to know it. More importantly, I hope that while he is where he is, that he is taught to take as wonderful care of himself as he as always taken of everyone he loves. If he were to receive that kind of care, he would flourish. Nobody deserves it more than him, after all he has done for others. I want this unselfish, giving soul to understand that he is allowed to put himself first, for the first time in his life, even if it's only because the better care he takes of himself, the better he can do for others. Because, that's a start. Mostly, I hope he does it for himself and his own reasons.
I'm sending him love and good vibes. I'm praying for him that he gets what he needs and wants right now from where he is. I'm praying for his family, too. They're a pretty terrific bunch who loves him and wants the best for him. Right now is a rough time for all of them. I wish I had pulled myself out of my self-imposed exile sooner and been available to him through the things that led up to his decline in health, but that's on me, and not the point, at the moment. Like I said, in his generosity, when I told him what was going on, he accepted it, and he never made me feel badly. Any guilt I've felt has been from me. Because I make myself crazy. I hope he knows how blessed he makes everyone feel, every day. Plus, I'm sure he's been flooded with messages on a daily basis from people who miss him tremendously.
I hope he gets some time to read this. If he does, I want him to know about my live and prayers. My family is praying for him and sending their love, too. He is so loved. He doesn't have to do a single thing but exist, and we live him just for being him.
